Thursday, 23 August 2012
The not to be known
There are generally a lot of things we do not see that other people see, or rather things that people see differently to how we see them. Well, for the past couple of months I’ve been struggling with a lot of internal conflicts & battles, that just lead to me wanting to run away from myself, away from the ongoing struggle that I imagined would lead to my insanity. I even considered skipping the country (I know you are thinking that wouldn’t have helped because the same issues would follow me wherever I would go, but hey, it felt the easiest thing to do, however insensible).
Then I met someone who referred me to a Personal Growth course; and I’m now glad I didn’t get the name of the course before I signed up, because I would not have gone, not willingly anyway. But I now realise that going to this course has been the best thing for my sanity, for my dealing with the issues that have been pulling at me and stretching me in all sorts of different directions. This course has allowed me the opportunity to look at myself with eyes that actually see, eyes that forced me to stop trying to protect myself from facing realities. Realities I would have loved to act as though did not exist.
Every Tuesday for the past 6 weeks I have opened myself up to exploring the possibility to DEAL, and I must say, it’s been doing me a world of good. I have gained the ability to let people into the "not to be known" of my life, which has been strangling me from within. The highlight of it all has been seeing a change in me, I have now become the bundle of joy that I once knew, with a "can’t get me down" approach towards life and all it throws my way.
So many times, we put so much effort into people not knowing that we are not as together as we ought to be and that we have things we struggle to face, let alone deal with. We find that in that process of putting on that facade for the masses, we forget to take it off when we now with only one person in the audience-SELF!! We put on "permanent make-up'' that will not only hide the blemishes we hate to see; but the makeup goes so deep that we convince ourselves that those blemishes and bruises are non-existent. That’s the worst place to be, the place where you suppress who you are for the sake of appearances. That’s the place that robs you of learning and growing from your experiences.
Take off the masks, wash off the makeup & claim your "FREENESS"!!!!!